Redirected Flight

If I remember correctly Matt wasn't a week old when someone sent me a story. It was about a person who had planned a great trip to Greece. They packed all the appropriate clothes and learned all about the country. They even knew the language. They planned their trip for a long time and anticipated it with much excitement. They got on the plane ready for a wonderful journey. When they arrived however they were in Norway. They thought it was a mistake at first and that certainly they would soon be in Greece. That wasn't possible, they had to stay. They had all the wrong clothes, knew nothing of the country nor the language. They were so disappointed. They wanted desperately to be in Greece where it was warm and everything would be familiar to them. They did not like it in Norway but were stuck there. Over time they grew to appreciate the country and they learned the language well. They slowly bought all new clothes and grew accustomed to all that the country had to offer. It took awhile, but they realized Norway was where they were meant to be all along and that it was better for them to be there then anywhere else. The story ends by saying, and so it is with a special needs child. You don't plan it, you don't want it, but you realize that it was the best thing for you. (This is the story as I remember it, in my own words, I apologize if I have butchered it).  Truth is, I hated this story. I was mad that someone sent it to me. You know, I still don't like it. You see, every part of me loves my son, but I'm really still wishing I landed in Greece. I want to be the mom that helps make my kids valentines with pretty lace. That bakes fancy cookies and throws fun parties. I want to be the mom that has a clean house and fresh wonderful meals every night. That works out regularly, is on the PAC at her kids school. The kind of mom who has her nails polished all of the time. I think I could have been that mom. I used to love Martha Stewart and now she just makes me feel like a failure. Truth is, I can't make it work. The extra appointments, laundry, schedule arrangements, medical phone calls, supply orders, meetings, the care!  Matt hating being in the car for more than 30 seconds! For those of you that can decide to go for dinner on a whim, do those errands after school with your kids, drive your kids to ballet, skating and soccer, take the time to cut out paper lace Valentines, use a regular babysitter, enjoy it, it's a privilege! And even though I know better, I'll probably keep pretending that I made it to Greece.